The upsetation of future me

I just sat at work doing nothing for 3 hours. Uh oh...future me is not going to be happy with current me and my behavior...

and past me should just stay out of it...

Cheetoes

Church

Lately I've been going to Prairie Lakes Church every time I'm in Cedar Falls on a Sunday. I really like the place even though it's a complete opposite from what I'm used to. I'm used to the quaintness of Ashton Chapel; this church has two morning services with about 500 people for each service. I started going because it is more informal and nobody notices me sitting by myself in a group that large. I find that when I go it cleans my soul out. I come in just proud of myself for waking up in time for it and my heart is still tainted by the long week I had gotten through. I try not to judge but in the begining with the people on stage singing I judge. I think they are trying to show off and show that they have more faith then the rest of us. When Pastor John gets up there though and starts speaking I open up my heart and my darker side gets some much needed light shed on it. It used to be a job to go to church in the morning and something I did more out of guilt than wanting to. Right now church is just something I need to cleanse me spiritually before I encounter another long week.

This passage describes me perfectly lately. I must do something to change the ending. I will not just resign to let it eat away at me. I must change direction while I still can.

"Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight on him, and resigning himself to let it eat him away."
-Charles Dickens, "A Tale of Two Cities"